Transparent proxy mode (#823)

Adds a **transparent TCP proxy mode** to zenserver (activated via `zenserver proxy`), allowing it to sit between clients and upstream Zen servers to inspect and monitor HTTP/1.x traffic in real time. Primarily useful during development, to be able to observe multi-server/client interactions in one place.

- **Dedicated proxy port** -- Proxy mode defaults to port 8118 with its own data directory to avoid collisions with a normal zenserver instance.
- **TCP proxy core** (`src/zenserver/proxy/`) -- A new transparent TCP proxy that forwards connections to upstream targets, with support for both TCP/IP and Unix socket listeners. Multi-threaded I/O for connection handling. Supports Unix domain sockets for both upstream/downstream.
- **HTTP traffic inspection** -- Parses HTTP/1.x request/response streams inline to extract method, path, status, content length, and WebSocket upgrades without breaking the proxied data.
- **Proxy dashboard** -- A web UI showing live connection stats, per-target request counts, active connections, bytes transferred, and client IP/session ID rollups.
- **Server mode display** -- Dashboard banner now shows the running server mode (Zen Proxy, Zen Compute, etc.).

Supporting changes included in this branch:

- **Wildcard log level matching** -- Log levels can now be set per-category using wildcard patterns (e.g. `proxy.*=debug`).
- **`zen down --all`** -- New flag to shut down all running zenserver instances; also used by the new `xmake kill` task.
- Minor test stability fixes (flaky hash collisions, per-thread RNG seeds).
- Support ZEN_MALLOC environment variable for default allocator selection and switch default to rpmalloc
- Fixed sentry-native build to allow LTO on Windows

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